Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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