she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
