Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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