Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
