coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize