let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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