oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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