so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
