you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
