We named our party play list daddy issues
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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