You're completely useless in the revolution.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
