i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
