You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
