shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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