i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
