i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I booty called her while she was in labor.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
