You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
