I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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