WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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