we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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