So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
