Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
