You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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