i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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