i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
