My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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