our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize