We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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