And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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