Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
