you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
