Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
