it wasn't lemon gatorade
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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