People in love make me want to vomit
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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