You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
