just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
