Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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