Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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