make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
