I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
