Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
