she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
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I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
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New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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