Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
