He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
