i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
