a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize