Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
