Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
