I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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