Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
