In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
