Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My bed smells like the plague
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
