i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
