he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize