Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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