you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize