Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
