she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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