i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
