a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
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So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
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The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize