Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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