She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
