What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
