I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
